Recomandarea saptamanii: Connect before you direct


V-ati gandit vreodata de ce apar conflicte intre voi si copiii vostri? Desigur, plecam din start de la premisa unei relatii sanatoase, normale, firesti; vorbim de acele momente in care, desi tu stii ca esti ok ca parinte, desi tu stii ca ai dat si facut totul pentru copil, desi stii ca nu este nimic in neregula, copilul se supara totusi din cand in cand pe tine, aparent fara motiv. Iata mai jos o explicatie pe cat de simpla, pe atat de adevarata. Este vorba despre conectarea cu copilul si respectiv, deconectarea de acesta. Este vorba de Larry Cohen, autorul cartii Playful Parenting, intr-un nou video pe care vi-l recomand.

“I think that all misbehaviour of children is because there’s an element of disconnection, that the child is feeling disconnected from us. Or they are noticing that we are disconnected from them, we are multitasking instead of really paying attention to them, we are distracted, and we are thinking about work or dinner or something like that. The first thing to do in any kind of behaviour problem is to reconnect. And once we make a reconnection often the problem is gone. And if it’s not, we are on much better track of fixing it, because we have that close connection with them. One phrase I like to use for that is: connect before you direct. Because we’ve all tried to direct kids when we don’t have that connection, and they ignore us, and we get angrier, and angrier, and angrier, but if we connect first, they are more likely to be cooperative and if they are not, we are more likely to understand why, and we can help them with that.”

One thought on “Recomandarea saptamanii: Connect before you direct

  1. perfect adevarat. de multe ori suntem atat de preocupati de altele incat copiii pur si simplu incearca sa ne atraga atentia in felul lor. de multe ori am constatat ca atunci cand lucrurile nu merg, cand nimic din ce e de facut nu se face, cateva clipe de ragaz fac minuni. pur si simplu las totul balta, ma asez langa el, il iau in brate, ne privim in ochi si discutam, asezam doua cuburi, baraim vreo doua masini si totul se rezolva ca prin farmec🙂.

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